Without end.

I had been avoiding reading the latter chapters of C. S. Lewis’s ‘The Last Battle’ for the last two weeks or so, up until a couple of nights ago. Finally, last night at about four in the morning, I finished reading the chronicles of Narnia for the first time. I am pretty sure the only reason for avoiding the last chapters was because I wished the stories would not end… And my wish has been granted I believe…

I enjoyed the last chapter. The pictures C.S. Lewis painted  corresponded well with the charcoal sketches already drawn in my mind in recent years…

I think I’m ready to read the gospels, to see where it leads.

I’m satisfied that Jesus existed and a stable door in my mind is ajar to the possibility that the Bible is based on something that has happened, is happening and is going happen… maybe all at once, beyond space and time..

I might write about some of the things I’ve enjoyed listening to and reading.

So much I’ve been learning leads me to C. S. Lewis.

In general, I really enjoy the ‘Socrates in the City’ . The dozens of lectures I have listened to whilst stacking shelves at night have profoundly  provoked many of my most persistent thoughts and ideas. And if I one day dare to go beyond lazily trying to articulate some of these deep and oft dark and disturbing ideas that are growing in my mind, I hope that it doesn’t guarantee me a seat on the hellbound train.  I also hope it is a dangerous risk I will one day dare to take in understanding the one thing I’ve been pursuing for probably all my life … in public I mainly call it love. In private I tend to call it truth. (And if the future Mrs B is reading this, I plead guilty to the charge of sounding like a pretentious get! )

I am tempted to write a story based upon this hellfire hymn by ‘Those Poor Bastards’…

A drunkard lay on the barroom floor
He drunk ’til he could not drink no more
He went to sleep with a troubled brain
And dreamt he was on

The Hellbound Train


The train if flew at an awful pace
The brimstone a-burning both hands and face
And worse and worse the roadbed grew
And faster and faster the engine flew


He blowed the whistle and rung the bell
And the Devil said
“Boys the next stop is Hell!”
And all the passengers yelled in pain
And begged the Devil to stop the train


But the Devil laughed at their misery
He hollered and roared and yelled with glee

“You’ve paid your fare with the rest of my load
And you’ve got to ride to the end of the road”


“You robbed the weak and done wrong to the poor
Turned hungry folks away from your door

You’ve laid up gold ’til your purses bust
And ruined young gals with your beastly lust”


“You’ve mocked at God in your stubborn pride
You’ve murdered and killed and cheated and lied
You’ve double crossed partners and cussed and stole
You belong to me both body and soul”


“Your bones will burn in the flames that roar
You’ll scorch and sizzle from rind to core”
Then the barroom rang with an awful scream
As the drunkard awoke from his terrible dream


Down on his knees on the barroom floor
He prayed as he never had prayed before
His prayers and vows they were in vain
For his soul was doomed to the Hellbound Train


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